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Deep Healing
Q. The Holidays are over and I'm feeling my usual holiday letdown. Why is that?
You may have observed that the winter months and holiday activities are a time of happiness for some people, while others seem to experience and increase of sadness and distress. Anniversaries can sneak up on us and change our mood at any time during the year. Often our first awareness of it is the change in our feelings, only later do we understand the full reason for our dreary mood. Anniversary or holiday blues are often attributed to the "stress" of holiday activities and expectations, but actually, there are several possible sources:
· Those who find they feel "down" between Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day may be among the 5-20 percent suffering from what is known as S.A.D. - Seasonal Affective Disorder. They're reacting to the diminished amount of natural light; there seems to be a chemical change in the brain involving the chemical melanin. People affected by S.A.D. may be helped when they extend their day with full-spectrum fluorescent light.
· Annual activities make it easy to see the changes in our own lives and in the lives of our loved ones. Anyone who has experienced a major life change or loss since the last time the generations got together cannot help but be reminded of it during winter months when so much emphasis is on social contact and "tradition." Increased sadness, nostalgia, unexplained feelings of loss may actually signal that there are things that need to be acknowledged, grieved, one more time. This is natural and normal grief. Grief is not the same thing as depression although inadequately handled grief can turn into depression. Normal evidence of the passage of time can bring with it mixed feelings of pleasure and regret - things change, we get older.
· Many people have a non-seasonal kind of depression that is biological or chemical in origin: they are somewhat depressed most of the time and may have the ability to disguise it from their own or other's awareness -most of the time. This type of depression tends to become evident when compounded by any amount of stress and/or grief. Unnoticed at other times of the year, it is very likely to surface at this time.
Usually, depression involves the subconscious or conscious perception of a loss (potential or actual). The unconscious mind interprets it as loss, whether it has happened or not. It may be the loss of a relationship, possession, social status or self-esteem, the loss of a physical sense or ability. If it hasn't been grieved or accepted, energy continues to be lost from the psyche - it's as if there were a perpetually open, unhealed wound. Grieving is healthy - it is what heals the wound.
When a person anticipates a loss and this perception is accompanied by fear, energy will be also be drained away - in this case by fear. This energy drain leads to an inability to feel anger, to mobilize it, to protect what's theirs - they feel helpless and weak. Continual fear further weakens them, leading to a reactive depression.
When the deeper mind feels anger and there is no avenue for its expression, it tends to lead to depression. If we have a poor self-image and have learned to accept poor treatment, the deeper Self may rebel. This blocked inner anger builds as long as we lack confidence in our ability to express it openly. Under these circumstances a person who perceives an actual or potential loss will direct their anger inwardly, creating - guilt, resentment, shame, self-recrimination and blocked expression. This inwardly directed anger implodes against their own psyche and results in a kind of self-punishment.
The antidote to energy-draining depression in any form is healthy Self-esteem and the ability to express anger in a healthy way. The "anger out" person will first need to rein in rage, hostility, and attack behavior, then develop healthy ways to steward their "psychic domain." The "anger in" person may actually be harmed by instructions to "let go" of their anger and to "forgive." To do this might possibly cut off the only path to healing because the inner anger is, in fact, the healthy desire to express and resuscitate the suffocating Self.
An improvement in Self-esteem and Self-acceptance can overcome the depressive and angry "self-delusions'' that inhibit true healing. You can learn to "see" positive images and "hear" healthy self-talk you can access that place within each of us from which deep healing arises. Complete treatment includes developing positive self images; releasing tension and supporting healthy Self-esteem. Anyone caught up in "Holiday Blues" deserves compassionate attention. Most of the time what is being felt is just a bit of grief and nostalgia. "Clinical Depression" is something more serious. If you suspect this is the case, don't underestimate the gravity of the situation - always consider professional help.
Dr. Emmett Miller is the author of Deep Healing; The Essence of Mind Body Medicine. He is best known for his invention of deep relaxation imagery/meditation cassettes (available from Source Cassette Learning Systems 1-800-52-TAPES) and is widely considered the father of modern, mind/body medicine. For individual consultation by phone, a calendar of appearances, workshops, lectures, or to bring Dr. Miller to your community, call (916) 478-1807. You also can reach Dr. Miller on the internet at http://www.docmiller.com |